MPC: The Undoing

Autumn 2013

Hello there. Welcome to the month of April that inexplicably begins with a day dedicated to fools, but all the same, welcome anyways. March was a great month. Like, really great Blog-wise. As for life-wise, it was kind of the same. I was still confused, angry and concealing the pain I wake up from my bed with. The good thing is, with life comes lessons and I did learn a lot. The most important thing I learnt is that, sometimes, you just have to put yourself out there and let people see who you are, what you’re doing, how you’re feeling, and where you’re going. It’s a great thing inviting people in (sometimes), because you don’t have all it takes to get through life yourself. Some people accept you, some people don’t and that’s okay. There are some people you wouldn’t accept as well. Let it be said that they accepted you and you made friends, let it be said that they ignored you, let it be said that they drove you away from their sight, but let it not be said that you didn’t try. Always try.

That said, it’s time to honor all the bloggers who honored my request and sent their images in. I can’t really explain how grateful I am to you guys. You rock! If you’re reading this, you should totally check out these peoples’ images:

Anupam

imackenzie14

Unleashed Thoughts

Mitch Zeissler (1) (2) (3) (4)

Last month, we did the undoable by taking away the color of spring. I know. I’m sorry I did that to you. Spring should be a period of color, but I encroached it with my grey-scale mentality and ruined your lives. You’ve got to admit, your images did look splendid though. Just saying. Anyways, this month, the April fool has touched my heart and we are “UN-DOING”. Yes, we are bringing the color back to spring! You can finally go out and take photos of that flower outside your yard and leave it in color. The fact that it’s going to be in color, doesn’t mean we shouldn’t be creative about it though. So, take a seat, have an imaginative thought or two, then take your camera and go catch some fun. I know I will. Even though I have a lot of studying to do.

You know the drill. When you get your photos ready for the world to see, upload them and send the link to me as a comment on any blog post dated after this one. You could also tag them to #MPC_undoing on instagram. I can’t wait to see your amazing images. Seriously, I’m so ecstatic; my toes have grown an extra inch and a half.

Before I leave you, I just want to say, special thanks to Cee’s Photography blog for featuring me in one of her challenges. I feel really, really honored, and as soon as I stop smiling from ear to ear, I’ll find a way to add your badge to my homepage. Thank you so much!

That’s it! Go out, undo the evil you have done to spring and bring back some color into your spring photos. Don’t forget to post them here though. See y’all later!

In oddly related news, I didn’t get to watch Casablanca and I’m still a “Here’s looking at you kind”- outcast. It’s just that when I think of black and white photos, I see retro-creative, but when I think of black and white movies, I see retro-boring. But the good news is that HTC ONE (M8) is a splendid phone and I’m turning all my attention to it. Since I haven’t gotten it yet, here’s a picture of a scary ostrich.

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Ostrich Picture courtesy of Questionsleep.com

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What We Learnt This Week

Hi there! Welcome to the first WWLTW of the year 2014 and I swear it was meant to be much better than this but you know, the procrastinating heart wants what the procrastinating heart wants. Anyways, no “new year new me” for me,  WWLTW isn’t going to change much, it’s still going to be me pretending to be a journalist and you pretending to be an adept reader of WordPress blogs. In my opinion, the first week of the year was pretty dull, except Jan 1st (you’ll know why later) and I’m not covering CES yet, so maybe next week when I understand WTF they are doing. Enough chit chat, let’s see what PoP learnt this week:

1. January 1st on a Wednesday, thanks but no thanks.

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            I love public holidays; they give me something to look forward to. There’s a pleasure that comes with an early week ending or an extended weekend rest with a holiday on Monday, but a holiday on Wednesday? That’s not right. It was a totally useless day and the worst part was that I then had to carry myself up to class the following day…and the next. There should be no holidays in the middle of the week any more; let’s pass that as a law, because it just doesn’t make sense. If I want to escape one day of work at the middle of the week, all I have to do is call in sick. New Years celebration on a Wednesday is LAME, I could tell from the faces of the people I saw on Thursday.

2. Sherlock is back from the dead and is as arrogant as ever- we love it!

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            Remember when I said January 1st was great, this was most definitely why. The real time adaptation of Mark Gatiss and Steve Moffat returned on BBC One last Wednesday with an episode from the actual story “the Adventure of the Empty House” titled “The Empty Hearse” and Sherlock Holmes is back with a bang, but still the same; a practical genius in many areas, but awkwardly stupid in fundamentals. He thought he’d be dead for 2 years and life would still revolve around him? That’s a sociopath right there! But not to worry, I’m not giving any spoilers, as the show is yet to hit US television screens (although I’m sure they’ve pirated it and watched it anyways). Sherlock’s return is definitely why I smiled on January 2nd and it’s why I’m smiling now, because episode 2 is out. Spoiler alert! They used a swear word in the episode, it’s “F-Cough”. Sherlock is a TV series for the great minds and it’s a great way to understand the character if you don’t usually grok Arthur Conan Doyle’s lingo (PS: I think ACD was a angel sent from God, to teach us the science of deduction so that we can deduce that God is real and pledge our lives to him for as long as we live). Sherlock is a must-see for everyone and if you haven’t seen it, I urge you go look for it; it would change your life.

3. Scientists find where all your emotions go.

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Finnish researchers have been able to find out where all your emotions go in our bodies with a little study they showed up with in the Proceedings of the National Academies of Sciences, called ‘Body Atlas’. How did they arrive at this? Well, they asked 773 people who participated in the study to highlight the areas of their body where they felt more activity, or less activity after they were shown stories, movies, words, etc. that have specific influences. Where sensations were high, they would color red, then yellow while blue colored areas signified lowered sensation. Pretty impressive stuff, there is obviously a sharp difference between depression and sadness (people tend to confuse those two), anger shows high activity in the arms also (which explains why you almost always want to punch someone in the face when you’re angry), happiness looks pretty widespread, love shows some serious abdominal activity, finally explaining the “butterflies in your stomach feeling”, envy and contempt are all in your head, and shame looks like Spider Man. Oh! Yea, in case you were wondering, the study was made on Finnish and Taiwanese people, I’m pretty sure Africans are configured differently.

4. Transfer window buzz begins.

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The January transfer window opens once again and with it, speculation. Bertrand Traore, the Burkina Faso international moved to Chelsea, only for him to be loaned to Vitesse Arnhem. Clint Dempsey is with Fulham (again) for 2 months though, and some other non-note worthy signings…yet and Atletico Madrid and Chelsea are said to be working out a deal that keeps Thibaut Courtois and renders Koke or Diego Costa as leverage (What a rip-off! For Atletico that is; Costa and Koke would flop in the BPL, I can bet on it). The January transfer window is however best known for its biggest flop, Fernando Torres but there have been some good signings from January too e.g. Luis Suarez, Nemanja Vidic and Patrice Evra. Although the Luis Suarez thing is debatable, he has caused a lot of catastrophe since he arrived at Anfield, only fair he made himself useful at some point. In other news, Torres scored on New Year’s Day, he effectively has more goals this year than Leo Messi- Torres is back! January holds some stiff promise with managers looking for that mid-season fresh blood and here’s a list of players who might be moving this month: Xabi Alonso, Salomon Kalou (to God knows where), Mario Balotelli (to Chelsea), Dimitar Berbatov, Edin Dzeko (to Valencia), Iker Casillas (all things are possible with the World Cup coming), Juan Mata (anywhere really, he’s that desperate), Wayne Rooney (common Wayne, are we still on this bus?) and lots more. Be sure to keep tabs on Manchester United, they may sign in a flop or two to add to their clueless manager and Marouane Fellaini.

5. FIFA World Cup 2014 may begin with a mind-control kick.

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Thanks to “The Walk Again Project”, a paralyzed teenager, using mind-controlled prostheses would kick-off the FIFA World Cup in Brazil this summer. According to CNET’s Bonnie Burton “The exoskeleton will support the lower part of the body and enable the paralyzed wearer to walk using wireless electrodes attached to the head that collect brainwaves, which then signal the suit to move.” As for me, I think its going to take more than a magical kick to get Spain to retain their title as Champions of the World #teamNigeria.

Photo Credits: CNET, Google and Bunch of other places I can’t remember. Thanks!

What we Learnt This Week

 

            Ah! December, my second favorite month of the year, closely behind August, my birth month. Cold winds, straight faces, sad excuses for snow flakes and anticipation for the end of another graceful year makes December easily a fan favorite. Oh! And the celebration of the birth of our Lord and savior, Jesus Christ. The first week of December was a breeze to me; it went by faster than I could say “Look! That girl is putting on leggings under the misguided conception that they are clothes.” And here are a few things we learnt this week:

1.  There will be a Friday the 13th:

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Except you’ve been living a totally isolated life without a TV or a calendar, you know the implication of this. The date “Friday the thirteenth” is considered a worldwide unlucky day and not that I believe in that stuff, I find it amusing to spook kids into believing that the only way to not experience bad luck on this day is to do my every bidding; that’s fun. Friday the 13th is also a movie franchise where a guy named Jason wears a mask and murders a bunch of marijuana smoking campers. You take your pick.

2.  Manchester United are in transition:

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Presently occupying 9th position in the EPL and finding themselves 13 points behind surprise league leaders Arsenal, it’s perhaps safe to say that a David Moyes led United isn’t going to make it to any point we can call success this season compared to his predecessor Sir Alex Ferguson. But maybe we shouldn’t really be comparing Moyes to someone who I think is the greatest manager to ever grace the premiership era besides Jose Mourinho. Sir Alex Ferguson was a genius and trust me, even calling him a genius feels like an understatement sometimes and before Moyes can reach where he reached with this Man United squad, its going to be a while…a long while. So let’s not jump to conclusions and start booing the man who has taken the worst job in football management history since Rafa Benitez took over Inter Milan from Mourinho, but lets calm down and think about this very logically: looking at the squad they have and their spending policies, Man United under any other management besides Fergie are a “slightly above average club” at most and we shouldn’t really expect too much from a newcomer like D.Moyes. That said, fire the Scot and bring in Ole Gunnar Solskjær.

3.    Next Apple phones would have wireless charging, we hope:

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On December 3rd, 2013 Apple Inc. finally won a patent for a wireless near field magnetic resonance power charging system. That’s jargon for wireless charging.  According to Patently Apple, “In one embodiment, the wireless charging environment can include various computing devices along the lines of a desktop computer, a laptop computer, net book computer, tablet computer, etc. In some cases, a wireless power supply will be able to be used to provide power wirelessly to various electronic devices such as and iPhone that includes a portable power supply for mobile operation.” Yeah! Pretty cool eh? You don’t feel so good about rushing into buying that iPhone 5S early now, do you? Seem those of us waiting for the iPhone 6 are going to have the last laugh after all. Anyways, just because Apple has acquired the patent doesn’t mean they are going to implement it. Most of this stuff never really gets made into something but it’s a great way to spice up hype for the next iPhone I must admit.

4.    Siri can’t do math: No, seriously. Ask it “4.23 minus 1.27”. Go on, don’t be scared.

5. 51913-Rip-Paul-Walker

If you want to be popular, die. Trust me, it worked for Paul Walker. I loved his performance in “Hours” though; that was his best movie I watched.

6. Don’t support what is wrong because the person perpetrating the act is a friend; always stand for what is right, no matter the consequences.

7. I ignorantly continue to live in the denial that Nelson Mandela is not dead; he’s just too awesome to die.

Dear Victor

Dear Victor,

Last month we had a new neighbor, and for some reason my kids prefer to play with her than with me, their own stepmother. My new neighbor tends to give them toys to play with and sweets to savor on while they play with those despicable toys and that just pisses me off, because I want the kids to stay at home and not go out all the time. I am also under the impression that my neighbor’s friendliness with children is only a front for what she really has in mind: She wants to fatten up my kids up with sweets and then eat them later, just like the witch in Hansel and Gretel. I know this is going to sound cliché, but I love my step kids and since I don’t yet have any kids of my own, I see them as mine. Please help me get them away from the clutches of our evil witch-next-door.

Sincerely,

Grown up who still reads fairytales.

Dear Grown up who still reads fairytales,

What you have is what we in the human race call, honest disgust for the happiness of others, commonly known as Jealousy. But it’s not a problem; jealousy is a totally natural response to being a despised stepmom. The best way I can think of helping you is to make the children understand that you run things in this house now and that you can be fun too, but I doubt they’ll be willing to listen so to make things a little easier, it is in my professional opinion that I ask you to throw in some pipecuronium bromide into their morning tea immediately after your husband leaves for the office. The pipecuronium would paralyze their skeletal muscles and make them docile for as long as you want. Now that you are sure you have their undivided attention, pour your heart out to them and if they refuse to listen to you still, make it a thing. Put in on your calendar “Pipecuronium Wednesday” let them know you wouldn’t give up, trust me, it may take some convincing but after a month of constant pipecuronium-ing they’d come around.

 

Dear Victor,

I have a problem with the receptionist in the building I live in. Every time I’m coming into the building after a long day, she keeps asking my to show my ID before entry. Now I have lived in this building for 4yrs and this woman knows that, she just keeps doing this to annoy me. Please help me, I don’t want to get her fired, I just want payback for all the times she has forced me to reopen my briefcase to get my ID out.

Angrily,

Frustrated in Donetsk.

 

Dear Frustrated in Donetsk,

Revenge is my favorite gift to give, and what better time is there than the present. Here is a strategy a friend of mine came up with: When you are on your way home next time, buy a bottle of water and save a little of it …scratch that… a lot of it in your mouth before you begin going into your building. As soon as you get in and she asks you for your ID, look around you if there are any guards and if the coast is clear, spit the entire volume of water you’ve been holding in your oral cavity into her face and quickly run to your room before she can alert anyone. When she sees you coming into the building next time she’ll be enveloped with mixed feelings as to whether she should do her job or get a face wash and that should be payback enough.

That’s it for the week!

Is your boyfriend giving you trouble? Did he not call you back after yesterday night? Are you scared your father is a mobster? Don’t live in fear, seek the advice of a semi-professional. Mail your problems to me and I’ll show you how to fix it in the most unconventional of ways at victorohwo(at)ymail(dot)com

What we Learnt This week

 

            Finally, November ends and with it, some important events I’d really love to participate in but can’t, because I haven’t got time or money like NaNoWriMo, NaBloPoMo, Thanksgiving and Black Friday. All the same, the last week of November was a great week and here are a few things we learnt from it:

1.    The Prices of Xbox One and PS 4 are not coming down any time soon

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How do I know this? The answer is simple; those new game consoles are making megabucks right now. With PS 4 and Xbox One selling over a million units within their first respective 24 hrs, I don’t think the first thing on either Sony or Microsoft’s minds is to reduce the price of their respective best selling gaming consoles at the moment. However, good news arrives, well not so good news, according to this article by Nick Statt on CNET, the next best bet is on game bundles, which I assume to be a great bargain if I do say so, myself. You could buy a console and a game to play on it at once? That sounds awesome. Anyways, if you don’t want bundles and you don’t like spending more than the equivalent of $400 in your currency for a game and you’ve been waiting anxiously for a price cut on either of the consoles, get your sorry, frugal, ass to the game store and buy it for what it costs now, because it isn’t getting any cheaper anytime soon.

2.    Where there is no Cristiano Ronaldo, there is a Bale

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Ever since his mega money move from Tottenham Hotspurs to Real Madrid, the current world’s most expensive player, Gareth Bale, has been under immense scrutiny; every single person wants to point their finger at him. He kicks a ball wide, he’s a flop, he makes a pass that doesn’t connect, he’s a flop, he jumps for a header but doesn’t get the ball, and he’s a flop. So many accusations for one man who just got to a new club in a new country playing a new style of football, in a new league not more than 3 months ago; its uncanny. And then comes the injury to Cristiano Ronaldo and Gareth Bale shows his worth with a superb free kick against Galatasaray in the UCL and a hat trick against Valladolid in La Liga. I for one, remember how Real Madrid play without Ronaldo, its like watching a bunch of chickens kicking a rubber ball around and then managing to score a goal or two and running away to victory, no real entertainment. But in Bale, Real Madrid has the second stand out man they have needed for way too long. Bet his critics are in their niche hiding now that the Welshman has risen to the occasion, but I’ll be expecting them to come at him when he kicks the ball wide in any incoming match.

3.    Pastor Ade Teaches us How to Praise

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In the city of Donetsk, every Sunday the Doxa City Church, Donetsk, holds a church service at Artema 131a behind Stolichniy hotel. This previous Sunday was no different and everything seemed to be going according to plan: Opening prayer, a few songs, TOL, Praise and worship, testimonies, Choir ministration, another round of worship, Main message, announcements, offering, share the grace and go home to continue the sad routine that is the life of a foreign student. Then along comes Pastor Ade from Zaporozhe right before the offering is given and he raises song that changes everything. He doesn’t sing songs by Israel and New Breed, Ron Kenoly, Hillsong or Marvin Sapp but he praises God the way he knows how, the way we know how; in typical Nigerian praise. The people sing, the people dance, its obvious the previous praise session didn’t show any of the congregations’ potentials. The best part of the praise session is that we know the songs and the songs know us too well, then we sing and dance till the atmosphere changes. The offering basket goes round and for the first time in the church, it’s as if people want to give their money away. They place their envelopes in the baskets with smiles on their faces, like it’s not a formality anymore. Thank you Pastor Ade, God bless you richly, may you continue to grow in grace more and more and more.