What We Learnt This Week

Hello there, I know I skipped a week of WWLTW and I’m sorry (not like you care) but there’s a perfectly logical explanation for that skip. I was ill; my liver was enlarged, my kidney failed, I had to get a heart transplant and my limbs had to be cut off to make room for my enlarged liver. As a matter of fact, I’m typing this article with my ‘insert generic name for male genitalia’, which I fear would soon meet the same demise as my limbs. Actually, all I had was a cold and a high temperature. But not to worry WWLTW is back to share with you, all the highlights of last week.

1. Prince William calls his wife “babykins”:


How do I know that? The News of the World hack told me. Yes that one, remember? The one you criticized for going too far to get stories to publish. What’s so fascinating about this discovery (to me at least) is that in a family like the royal one, I would expect, to be coated in decorum, bureaucracy and all that Coming to America-like “brush the royal teeth” nonsense, not the future King of England calling his wife something as weird and intimate as “babykins”. On the other hand this goes a long way to say how what we see about people on the tele and magazines isn’t all there is to them: one the TV we may be coated men with black ties and royal blood, but deep down we are all just very ordinary people in need of one “babykins” or the other.
2. The Barclays Premier League is the most competitive European top football league:

Barclays Premier League Teams With Arsenal’s bore draw with Chelsea at the Emirates, the difference between the first (Liverpool) and the fifth placed team (Everton) is only 2 points; that’s as competitive as it gets. Compare their figures to the other main top flight leagues people care about, what you get are fifth placed teams genuinely out of the title race: In the Spanish “La Liga”, you have Barcelona on top at 46 points and fifth placed Real Sociedad at 29, a 17 point gap. In the German Bundesliga, we have Bayern Munich sitting on top at 44 points (with a game in hand, which they’ll probably win) and Wolfsburg at fifth with 30 points. This pattern repeats itself in Ligue 1 with PSG at 44 and St. Etienne at 30, then Serie A has Juventus at 46 while Inter with 31. It shouldn’t be news when the broadcasting right to the BPL season go for a billion pounds. An argument can be made as to if it is the most exciting (which it is) but as to whether it’s the most competitive, no one should dare say otherwise. That said, I think either Chelsea or Man City would win the league; Liverpool doesn’t have the charisma, Arsenal doesn’t have the guns.
3. Nokia thinks the iPad is invisible in direct sunlight:


If you’ve been paying any attention to Nokia, you’d find out that they have released  couple of new commercials for their Tablet, the Lumia 2520. One of them is about a guy and a mallet that doesn’t make any sense to me, while the other is about people who go to the park but are too busy with their tabs (which I think look like iPads) that they can’t seem to see under direct sunlight forcing them to go for shaded areas where their dog doesn’t want. I just have two words for them: RETINA DISPLAY. It’s not called “retina” for mere naming purposes, that S**T is BBRRRIGHT! It’s clear, it’s flossy, it’s shiny, it is beautiful and I’m sorry, but Nokia, You can’t say your screen for Lumia 2520 is better than iPad Air’s retina display. Find a different tackle for your next commercial, I liked the “don’t fight, switch” campaign; it got me my Nokia Lumia 920, stick with that. People buy Nokia not because there aren’t better phones out there, but because they want a new terrain, that’s the gist. If you want to pick on any tab, pick on Samsung tabs; no one cares about them.
4. A new series of 24 would come May, 2014:


It would be set some years after season 8, it would be 12 episodes but would still adhere to the hour-by-hour thing (how would that work?). Anyways, as long as Jack Bauer is coming back, just tell me where to find it and I’ll go there. It’s going to be called 24:Live Another Day, so you can go check it out. And besides, if you haven’t heard of 24, look properly, you’re definitely living in a hole in the ground.