Ah! December, my second favorite month of the year, closely behind August, my birth month. Cold winds, straight faces, sad excuses for snow flakes and anticipation for the end of another graceful year makes December easily a fan favorite. Oh! And the celebration of the birth of our Lord and savior, Jesus Christ. The first week of December was a breeze to me; it went by faster than I could say “Look! That girl is putting on leggings under the misguided conception that they are clothes.” And here are a few things we learnt this week:
1. There will be a Friday the 13th:
Except you’ve been living a totally isolated life without a TV or a calendar, you know the implication of this. The date “Friday the thirteenth” is considered a worldwide unlucky day and not that I believe in that stuff, I find it amusing to spook kids into believing that the only way to not experience bad luck on this day is to do my every bidding; that’s fun. Friday the 13th is also a movie franchise where a guy named Jason wears a mask and murders a bunch of marijuana smoking campers. You take your pick.
2. Manchester United are in transition:
Presently occupying 9th position in the EPL and finding themselves 13 points behind surprise league leaders Arsenal, it’s perhaps safe to say that a David Moyes led United isn’t going to make it to any point we can call success this season compared to his predecessor Sir Alex Ferguson. But maybe we shouldn’t really be comparing Moyes to someone who I think is the greatest manager to ever grace the premiership era besides Jose Mourinho. Sir Alex Ferguson was a genius and trust me, even calling him a genius feels like an understatement sometimes and before Moyes can reach where he reached with this Man United squad, its going to be a while…a long while. So let’s not jump to conclusions and start booing the man who has taken the worst job in football management history since Rafa Benitez took over Inter Milan from Mourinho, but lets calm down and think about this very logically: looking at the squad they have and their spending policies, Man United under any other management besides Fergie are a “slightly above average club” at most and we shouldn’t really expect too much from a newcomer like D.Moyes. That said, fire the Scot and bring in Ole Gunnar Solskjær.
3. Next Apple phones would have wireless charging, we hope:
On December 3rd, 2013 Apple Inc. finally won a patent for a wireless near field magnetic resonance power charging system. That’s jargon for wireless charging. According to Patently Apple, “In one embodiment, the wireless charging environment can include various computing devices along the lines of a desktop computer, a laptop computer, net book computer, tablet computer, etc. In some cases, a wireless power supply will be able to be used to provide power wirelessly to various electronic devices such as and iPhone that includes a portable power supply for mobile operation.” Yeah! Pretty cool eh? You don’t feel so good about rushing into buying that iPhone 5S early now, do you? Seem those of us waiting for the iPhone 6 are going to have the last laugh after all. Anyways, just because Apple has acquired the patent doesn’t mean they are going to implement it. Most of this stuff never really gets made into something but it’s a great way to spice up hype for the next iPhone I must admit.
4. Siri can’t do math: No, seriously. Ask it “4.23 minus 1.27”. Go on, don’t be scared.
If you want to be popular, die. Trust me, it worked for Paul Walker. I loved his performance in “Hours” though; that was his best movie I watched.
6. Don’t support what is wrong because the person perpetrating the act is a friend; always stand for what is right, no matter the consequences.
7. I ignorantly continue to live in the denial that Nelson Mandela is not dead; he’s just too awesome to die.
- Exclusive: Man United Ready to Re-Appoint Sir Alex Ferguson as Old Trafford Boss (caughtoffside.com)
- An unlikely return? Bookies suggest Sir Alex Ferguson could ride to United’s rescue (express.co.uk)